Abortion Opponents

Abortion opponents

Love embryos more

Than babies and children

Who when born they ignore

 

They support “life”

Then oppose life worth living

Healthcare or welfare

They oppose giving

 

They oppose education

That would give them head starts

They don’t want to foster

Live beating hearts

 

Taken from homes

Unloved and abused

These unwanted children

Were just pawns that they used

 

Hypocritical stands

Between practice and preaching

Has caused us to ask

What are Christians now teaching

 

Where’s love for thy neighbor

That Christians once taught

When Christians turned cheeks

Without any thought

 

When they helped and fed children

The hopeless, forlorn

When all these things mattered

Not just the unborn

 

What Christians oppose

They should tell the whole truth

They save the unborn

To oppose them in youth

LIFE

When does a life truly begin

Conception, the heartbeat or breath?

If we lose life’s potential once held within

Is miscarriage a certified death?

 

Should women with certified lives get to choose

What life she is able to bear

Only SHE knows her life, what she’ll gain or will lose

She’s not likely to choose without care

 

Conceptions are lost all the time without knowing

A heartbeat or breath will not be

Two hearts cannot beat if breaths are not flowing

The breaths a woman must breathe

 

Till the, “life is sustainable”, milestone is passed

The only life here is a mother’s

With her heartbeat and breath she can choose till the last

To share possible life in another

 

With no life guaranteed if chosen or not

Because ALL lives start out as potential

We must care and put first the life that we’ve got

A woman’s life and her choice are essential!

Unbridled Passion

 

Unbridled passion is sexual shame

Fueled by taboo like gas on a flame

Partners that cheat or teenage mistakes

Are results of sexual shame when it breaks

Boundaries within us that make us feel strong

Without intact boundaries there’s no right or wrong

 

As shame gets denied for a while it first numbs us

But sooner or later taboo overcomes us

We lose all control in excitement of “passion”

But in truth it’s taboo forcing shame into action

Through torrents of sexual feelings and shame

Creating disasters with “passion” to blame 

 

If we want to heal we must consciously choose

To recycle our shame into love we can use

If we feel and express toxic shame till it’s through

Start loving ourselves and forgive ourselves too

We can have a new start with old programs deleted

With space new connections can now be completed

 

All channels can open to give and receive

We can choose to say yes or say no and leave

Our boundaries won’t break in one moments attraction

Because they are strong with self love and Compassion!

Private parts

Parents should teach children about private parts

Teach personal boundaries before puberty starts

But how do we do this and bring to fruition

A child with good boundaries that can hold this position

You have to allow from a very young age

A child to work through and resolve tantrum stage

This is the time when they learn to say NO

And if parents let them but guide them they’ll go

To the next stage of acceptance of rules

Reasonable boundaries and choice give them tools

To build a foundation of conscious decisions

With practice and time they’ll fulfill their ambitions

Not hindered by unconscious anger to thwart them

They won’t create lives when they cannot support them

When learned their whole lives to make their own choices

They’ll know what is right for themselves and have voices

To speak truth to others those even with power

They can say no, self protect, and not cower

When parents help build their boundaries this strong

Because they weren’t hit and can feel right from wrong

When they are ready they’ll first love with their hearts

And can consciously choose when to share private parts

1975

If it had been illegal in 1975 for Doctors in Birmingham Alabama to perform abortions my life would have turned out drastically different. Looking back at my teenage self I would say even at the age of 17 I was adept at playing out possible scenarios in my mind and seeing where they might lead. I didn’t take the reality of abortion lightly and I needed to use all of my intuitive and feeling skills to do what was best for all of the lives and potential lives involved.

I was physically sicker than my mother described being pregnant with me or my brothers. My gut was churning with fear and dread constantly reminding me that I had to decide as quickly as possible what to do with my life that had suddenly stopped moving forward. I had to pause and weigh all my options as carefully, as I was capable of, feeling throughout the process that all choices that would make it possible to move forward again were equally terrifying.

It came down to the usual three choices you can make when you’re faced with an unwanted pregnancy. I could go through with the pregnancy and raise the child myself, give the child up for adoption, or have an abortion. At the end of my review of these possible futures I was sure of two things, one, there was no way I was ready or even capable of being a mother, and two, there was no way I would ever give a baby up for adoption. There were many valid reasons that involved timing and circumstances that made me so sure about these two things even at the young age of seventeen.

For many years as an adult in therapy I tried to make sense of why I had often as a child and teenager felt so depressed and miserable. I wondered why I ended up pregnant at seventeen and became so sure abortion was my best choice. In my search for the truth I recalled the many times that it was plain to see where the roots of my, not quite suicidal, teenage nihilism came from.

My very fervent fundamentalist Christian mother sometimes during or after a “whipping” and sometimes just out of the blue would say that she wished she had never had children. Not only did she say this with all of her fundamentalist conviction while she was raging and hitting us; she maintained that position even after her rage was sufficiently vented on us. She left no room for doubt that she meant what she said.

This came from a mother who not only chose carefully after four years of marriage to have me, her first born, but chose to birth two more children 3 1/2 years apart when she should have known better by then to bring my brothers into her narcissistic “what was I thinking having these thankless children” world. So if we three, whose existences were so scrupulously planned, were eventually not wanted then what chance did an “illegitimate” grandchild have with that grandmother or that mother who even on a good day wished she didn’t exist?

Growing up in the 60s and 70s hitting and verbal abuse were accepted as effective ways to discipline children even outside the cult of fundamentalism. I knew as an introverted feeler and intuitive person I and most children on planet earth were being abused to some degree. I did not want to find out what the abusive repercussions would be for me being seventeen and pregnant. I was already living in a nightmare where in my experience any bad thing that could happen would happen. There was no way I was going to force a child into this nightmare of mine or the possibility of abuse in some unknown family’s nightmare that I could never know about. So I chose to have an abortion that my family would happily never know had taken place.

What would I have done if there was no Doctor in Birmingham or Alabama where I lived to give me a Choice? At seventeen I couldn’t have traveled very far to find a Doctor. I don’t think I would have had an illegal back room abortion. So I, like most girls who became pregnant before 1973, would have been forced to give birth to a child that I was not ready for or capable of caring for.

If I had been forced to birth this child the worst part for both of us would have been that I probably would have become a terrible mother. I possibly would have even become an abusive mother because of the rage I unconsciously carried from being abused myself.

In my darkest days of being left alone to recover from a beating or hiding from a parental tirade I promised myself if I ever had kids that from the beginning they would be loved and wanted. I promised I would not knowingly hurt or abandon them for any reason. When I was 17 I was not capable of fulfilling these promises to my future self and child. The child would have had a much worse existence than I did and that was not then and still would not be an acceptable outcome for anyone concerned.

So I am very grateful that I had a choice 43 years ago. It had only been two years before my abortion that The Supreme Court affirmed and made into law my right to boundaries that were more real and protective than my parents would ever have allowed me to assert had they known my circumstances. The court affirmed that I had the right to privacy to make medical decisions with a trained licensed physician concerning MY BODY and reproductive health.

So now 43 years in the future, why are fundamentalist “Christians” making laws that infringe on my privacy rights and freedom of religion? Why do their personal religious BELIEFS that say a soul inhabits a zygote on the day of conception get to override and nullify my spiritual BELIEFS that are just as valid to me as theirs are to them. There is nothing in the Bible or elsewhere that says, much less proves, a soul inhabits a zygote from conception. There is no way to PROVE a soul exists at all. Even if a soul does exist there is no way to know when it might inhabit a body or be considered a life. You can’t make laws from one religions perspective without infringing on another person’s or group’s religious or secular beliefs. By making abortion laws based on fundamentalist Christian religious BELIEFS you are forcing the country to practice the religion of fundamentalist Christianity.

What if members of a hypothetical anti-fundamentalist Christian religion decided the best way to change the world and make the world conform to their religious beliefs was to get involved in politics. What if they succeeded in electing enough Representatives and gained the power to make laws using their personal religious beliefs? What if these beliefs included, it is cruel and inhumane to bring a child into the world that is diagnosed in utero with chromosomal defects, or severe brain disease, or organ systems damage? What if you were forced by law to abort such a pregnancy against your will? How would a woman who is personally against abortion for any reason feel? If a woman wants to have this baby it’s HER CHOICE it’s HER BODY, right? I don’t believe fundamentalists would think it is right for this hypothetical religion or any real religion to impose their particular BELIEFS on them.

There are also many people in this country with secular beliefs. Atheists and agnostics have a right to practice their freedom from religion that should not be infringed upon as well. They with most Americans hold steadfastly to the legal principle that says there IS a separation between church and state in this country! “Christians” love and believe in this separation when it comes to their churches not having to pay taxes and their schools and institutions not being subjected to the same restrictions that secular institutions like public schools are subjected to. Yet, they are more than happy to trample all over the separation when it comes to imposing their religious beliefs on others. No American citizen should be subjected to the arbitrary belief systems of a minority of pious and hypocritical fundamentalists.

I BELIEVE that in 1975 no life or soul was lost on the day I had an abortion. I BELIEVE that the souls of my adult children that I chose to birth in 1984 and 1988 are the same souls that could have been born earlier in my life if I had chosen to have them earlier. I don’t regret the choice I made to wait until the time and circumstances were right for them and for me.

My children in turn have the right to BELIEVE or NOT BELIEVE what I feel is true and can live their lives however their own conscience directs them. It is and has always been THEIR CHOICE what to believe spirituality. They were raised at early ages with parental guidance to have choices to believe what they want and to decide what is right for them in every facet of life. So they developed personal boundaries and never had to choose to give up children for adoption or have abortions. I know this is true because they have known since they were teenagers what I have been through and that I would support any choice they would make in their personal life and would not judge them.

Why was I eventually able to raise my children in even better circumstances and more consciously than my parents? Because back in 1975 I had a CHOICE and was able to stay in school, graduate high school as salutatorian, work for two years, go to nursing school, meet my husband, graduate and become an RN, work for 3 years as a child/adolescent psychiatric nurse, get married, consciously conceive, birth, and raise two children as a stay at home mother.

Lots of rough stuff happened in between all of this good stuff that thankfully caused me to seek therapy to heal my wounded inner child. All of these ups and downs experienced over my young adult years helped me grow up and mature enough to be able to keep the promise I made to myself as a child and to my future children. Both of my children have known from the beginning they were and will always be loved and supported by their parents who consciously chose to give birth to them in the right circumstances at the right time for us all.

Judy, my Angel

My parents believed in not sparing the rod. They thought they had duty and orders from God. They thought that their Rods were why I behaved. I almost repeated this lie but was saved.

A couple came over our husbands were friends. Within the first hour his wife Judy defends my own little boy who I thought I was teaching by slapping his hands when he wouldn’t stop reaching.

I thought I was showing great discipline skill. She looked at me sternly which gave me a chill. Then said most directly there are much better ways of teaching your son to hit him betrays boundaries of trust that cause him to fear. He might then hurt others or shut down and not hear.

I was shocked into silence she had put me on pause. But I later did research then took up her cause. But Judy was gone by the end of the week and had moved out of town before we could speak. I wanted to tell her how much she had meant to me and my family in the short time we spent.

I never could find her for thirty three years. But one day while searching I broke down in tears. There was her name my Judy had died. It’s too late to speak to my Angel and guide. But I knew now she knew in those moments so brave by speaking her truth my whole family was saved.

Make a long story short

My poems aren’t written with colorful words

That paint abstract stories with lines that are blurred

My words are intended to make abstract real

For my abstract unconscious to clearly reveal

True feelings felt best through rhythm and rhyme

Rhymes that hold reasons beyond space and time

Feelings that thousands of words might contort

But through rhyme and rhythm make a long story short