I spent my whole life hoping
To be nurtured by my mother
I spent my whole life coping
Substituting with another
Acceptance from a friend
Or authorities unknown
Or I would just pretend
I was fine left on my own
So friends that I’d attract
Would do their best to care
But no one could give back
With all our cupboards bare
Unconsciously behind it all
Yet many years ahead
I felt the truth behind my wall
And suddenly felt dead
It took more than a year for me
To know the reason why
Why so much rage and fear in me
Had made my friendships die
No friend on earth can substitute
The nurture of your mother
It cannot grow without a root
Be grafted from another
The time had come to let them go
Illusions fully grieved
How could they give or even know
What they had not received
I had to start anew within
By planting my love’s seed
With nurturing it grew within
Fulfilling my own need
So one day I’ll be ready
From deep roots I’ve grown tall
As fruits of love grow steady
I then can nurture all