Throughout my whole life I’ll have “negative”feelings. I must feel the whole spectrum to integrate healing.

Deal with my grief from all of my losses. This, in time, will bring balance, no matter the causes.

I will always get angry, have fear, and feel sad. I will always have good days along with the bad.

But my unconscious rage, shame, and fear, through release, has been brought down to boundaries and given some peace.

Shame is now guilt when I’ve truly done wrong. Rage purged to anger can keep boundaries strong.

My constant fear has lightened and lessened. I still feel deep sadness, but, less long depression.

Healing’s not feeling, constant love, light, and bliss. It’s a balanced unconscious that becomes consciousness.

I cannot believe it! I have finally let go of Trump’s fate, and the fate of our country’s shit show.

It’s been proved for twelve years, there’s not one bit of truth, to what Trump will say, or what he will do.

There’s no reason to watch or listen to lies. And it doesn’t matter how he meets his demise.

If impeached, or in prison, or through his own death, we will have to start over to arise from these depths.

For all that he’s done his fate will decide. And so will the fate of our nation be tied.

If most people wake up and are tired of the lies, then America has one more chance to arise.

But I’m finally okay if it’s not meant to be, and we need more hard lessons to choose to be free.

So I’ll keep my own peace, keep my own healing going and wait for our country’s shit show to stop showing.

I spent the day feeling that I’ve done zero healing. Then of course it was proved, my fear sent me reeling.

My daughter had a bad day yesterday. She’d been let down and she lost new found faith.

I thought I was better, was healing my worry. One unanswered text and my sight became blurry.

My blood pressure spiked, my heart beat was fast. I wanted to stop it, beat this pattern at last.

I tried to not text her again, but I did. When still no text back my resolve hit the skids.

Nothing would help til she finally texted. My daughter was fine she would call when she’s rested.

As I felt huge relief I came out of denial. What I thought healing meant was really a lie.

As long as I live I will always get worried. When my daughter is sad, being late, will unnerve me.

Over the years it happens less often. My worry obsession has lessened and softened.

Every time I go through it and process my grief I find more authentic acceptance relief.

I don’t have to get rid of my true valid feelings. That’s called denial and that is not healing.

Empaths, I’m learning, can’t be worry free. Authentic healing accepts the real me.

One person’s poison is another one’s cure. What make’s one doubt, makes another one sure.

There isn’t one path that’s right for us all. All paths are unique made to go where we’re called.

The one thing in common that all of us have, our own guidance within to help forge our own path.

This keeps us from following where herd’s are now going. We’ve forged our own path and are sure in our knowing.

I’m now going through a whole lifetime review. From first years to last years that I have lived through.

For my own inner peace I must grieve, and forgive, to heal and let go, to live and let live.

But to be reconciled can’t be done without two. Both must want healing to build something new.

Then guess who came up for our mutual healing? My disowned inner child saw what I wasn’t seeing.

I had to be honest take a true inventory of what I’ve done wrong in my part of these stories.

Have I done on some level, these things done to me? Have I reaped what I’ve sown, in denial, conscience free?

Have I owned then forgiven my mistakes in the past? Have I owned then forgiven the stones I once cast?

Have I tried to find common ground with trespassers? Owned my glass house to not be a stone caster?

Who knows the whole truth? My now owned inner child. She now forgives me. We are whole, reconciled.❤️