For 43 years, we’ve grown stronger in marriage. My husband and I, together, have carried our hardships in life. Great changes as well. For better, for worse, through heaven, and hell.

Our first biggest test and fearful transition was being confronted with our biggest addictions.

He had one drug of choice, my drug, no relent. I’m fixing him, on this task I’m hell-bent.

I was the best damn enabler in town. If he disappeared using, most times he’d be found.

I had a sixth sense I just knew where to go. I was a psychic detective with my own secret show.

We were lucky my sickness to save didn’t kill him. It was eluding in my eye in the sky that revealed him.

When he finally got caught, we would have to pay costs. My job as psychic, his career could be lost.

Unless he chose treatment, to treat his addiction. I took him to save him, from his toxic affliction.

And guess what they said! I was sicker than him! I walked out of the office and thought, screw all of them.

Well it took me some time and some panic attacks to see just how reckless I’d begun to react.

Love from my parents was at best intermittent. This made my relations become codependent.

I spent many years attracting rejection. So was trained as a fixer who had to take action.

Through decades of therapy and repeated 12 steps. On parallel roads braving unconscious depths.

Which over the years came together as one. We healed codependence and broke trauma bonds.

And without all of this we would still be as sick, unhealed codependent, and an addict unfixed.

And we’d never know what I once called our affliction, would turn out to be, our great gift of Addiction.