I spent my whole life hoping

To be nurtured by my mother

I spent my whole life coping

Substituting with another

Acceptance from a friend

Or authorities unknown

Or I would just pretend

I was fine left on my own

So friends that I’d attract

Would do their best to care

There was no giving back

With all our cupboards bare

Unconsciously behind it all

Yet many years ahead

I felt the truth behind my wall

And suddenly felt dead

It took more than a year for me

To know the reason why

Why so much rage and fear in me

Had made my friendships die

No friend on earth can substitute

The nurture of your mother

It cannot grow without a root

Be grafted from another

The time had come to let them go

Illusions fully grieved

How could they give or even know

What they had not received

I had to start anew within

By planting my love’s seed

With nurturing it grew within

Fulfilling my own need

So one day I’ll be ready

From deep roots I’ve grown tall

As fruits of love grow steady

I then can nurture all


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